Jan 27, 2008

Sometimes I'm fully aware that I'm extremely silly at times.
I'm deeply confused too, to add on that sense of silliness.
There are certain not very nice things that I'm trying to get rid off but it seemed to be an arduous and repetitive process.
Perhaps it shouldn't be called silly but stupid.
There are people out there who added on to that already immense confusion yet I can't seemed to be hardhearted enough to just kick them away.
It's hilarious how the new year resolution was to be more clear-minded,
of course this is just part of the new year resolution.
One of the two actually, whereby the other is already well into process.
I really want to be the one to have the say.
I really want to be able to really flare up big time.
I really want to be able to just lash out on them to stop being so elusive and manipulative.
My frontal lobe and amyglada of my brain is simply not capable enough of handling all these really nasty things.
How I wish I have more guts.
How I really wish that I have more guts to really just be a major bitch.
I somehow realized that each and every time I tried to write something,
it somehow churned out to be not really nice.
Seriously, euphemism has been fucked up a freaking long time ago.
I guess I'm testing my tolerance or a part of me has thrown all kinds of sanguinary feelings and emotions out from the twenty floor.
Somehow it has become habitual to be engaged in imaginary reveries, the only way that can offer some sort of consolation.
It sucks at times. It really sucks.It is at times like this that I seriously need to lament and make myself out to be a pathetic, loserish soul. I'm such a loser.

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