REPOST :** Quoted from Le Love
Before that, I always scared of loosing the one I love.
Its so hard to let go when you build your world upon the one you love…
I shed so much tears…
but then one day, I realized that I never loose him…
cause he stays here inside, deep inside my heart…
I love seeing him smile…I feel dying seeing him cry…
The last thought comes my mind…
I will care him as long as I'm alive…
That is why I told him that I'll never cry anymore
cause I don't want him to feel bad/unhappy..
Do you know that I lusted you so much, and I still do.
And for that reason I will almost always resemble you in some way....
in the smile, in the walk, in mindset.
It's what made me exactly what I'm not today
I'm not sure about why on earth I'm doing this.
Obviously people will think I've gone crazy..
I know you hate me as how i hate myself..
I believe, in my heart, you'll never take time to read this.
but I hope I'm wrong !
How I wish that when we met each other,
you'll tell me you had read my letter to you/blog.
Speaking of "the yesterday's incident"..
I am really, really very sorry to trouble you..
I really thought that I wouldn't meet you anymore
that is why i beg my Boss to let me start doing sales,
altho i know I'll be death tired of doing the same ol' task,
event thingy, some write-ups, media and now - sales
Thus do you doesn't know how scared am i to drive on the road?
(as you know how good is my sense of direction)
but thinking of the 0.0001% possibility of meeting you,
I took the challenge even thou i need to memorize the whole god damn road for the whole night and missed my sleep..
Sometimes how I wish that I looks good,
to be the woman that u're craving
and to be with you forever and ever.
I even start learning cooking your
favourite chicken pongteh, BBQ chicken and etc from my mum
(I really wish that I may cook for you one day or someday)
Regarding about the yesterday question,
its my fault for not talking to your mum.
You doesn't know how scared/worried am i,
I worried that i might talk something wrongly till your family dislike me,
I worried will there be any one who will object our love?
Cause I know your mum and family are so important to you
and you asked me why everything had changed
such as my aunt's car, the lamp post and every tiny lil thingy..
actually it did not changed at all,
you're the one who never realized,
cause you've made the decision to leave me earlier..
I knew it
When our meet-up become lesser and lesser,
you don't even come to my house or
to spend your weekend with me anymore..
that is why i punish you to stay at home on Valentine's
while i'm happily club at somewhere
but u wouldn't know how sad am i/how much i wish to spend my time with u
on the special day..
Do you know, the feeling you had on that night
was the same the feeling i had for the past 2 months
That is why i shed my tears every night
esp the day I waved good bye..
And yesterday you start throwing me question about guys/love
I know you'll be happy seeing me with another guy
I know you'll be happy if i stop disturbing you
I know you'll happy if i found another guy
I know you'll be happy if i start loving another guy
I does not need the questions to be answered by you, nor I'm wanting you to.
All I need is that a one, honest answer to a one curious question.
I will listen to you and open up to another new love
I promise I won't LOVE u,
But i hope we're still friend
- The End -