Aug 24, 2009

Net in agony

Being a kid with psoriasis was terrible
its an unexplained pain for SEVEN years
although I'm 99% recovered
but it ain't important anymore
as I saw nothing but an endless void,
all that I had ever cared about seemed so little..
The purposes and causes that I had fought so vigorously,
left me in a second,
I felt as though I had been in the infernal plain forever.

Anyhoo, this is not as painful as compare to my broken heart
The scars are getting deeper and deeper.
I realized I’m not in pain anymore but in agony…

So many scars, they wont heal, no matter what i do
I've discovered it’s better to keep it to myself, suffering in silence
There's a hole in my heart where love did reside.
Now I'm stuck in a fetal position, trying to keep it from bleeding out.

Everytime when I'm hurt and sorrow in my life,
I cant stop myself from reaching the ciggie..

When will i wake up and not feel numb ?
DO I need were alcohol to make the wound sting all over again ?!

Quote of the day :
If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.
If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay."


Last few weeks I'm awake but my world is half asleep

The tears I've cried, screaming deceiving and bleeding for you
and you still won't hear me.
but this time i doesn't need any alarm..
I'll wake up for once.


Thats why I've tender my resignation,
and I'm leaving .. soon..

He said we're still friends..
a friend that doesn't call/sms/msn at all..
If he did, its just a favor call or etc
and Im no longer the ol' me,
waiting for it day and night..
I never even try to create any conversation
so that i can talk longer with him anymore..
Yes, everything and everyone had changed
so do you and me
He has his own glamour life with celebrity, friends and special one
and i'm with my unglam singlehood..
I've done my very best to hold back this relationship
(No one ever tot I can hold for such a long time)
but how long it is, doesn't matter nemore
as it doesn't work at all
t4 i accept the fact..
and I'm no longer living in denial..

- The End -

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

friend, i dunno what can i said to help u more... i knew u r in pain... i knew forever thats some part in your heart was gone off.
cover it little friend, although how u suffer, take it and walk it through... i knew it was painful, i knew this will never end... but, life still go on and u r so young...
m always there, when u need a sholder to lay on.
love ya my little friend